You Know You Need One

Why do you people inspire the worst in me?

For You Rugby Readers

I see a few Rutland Roosters have been reading this blog, so I thought I'd give you a brief update. I'm even wearing my Roosters Summer Tour 2003 #10 jersey as I type this.

Duncan has "learned" to play footy, but he can't resist a good tackle, and gets called at least once per game. I'm trying to convince him that his childhood is over (he'll be four-oh this year), and that he should give up the footy. I'm prepared to compromise, though: I've said he can ref rugby until he keels over and I'll never try to stop him. From reffing, that is. Not keeling over.

At today's game, I made a loud, derisive comment about the standard of refereeing. One of the blokes on the sideline gave me a sharp and immediate look. After the game, just before we left, I walked up to the guy and said, "What was that look you gave me when I said the ref was crap?"

He said, "Don't piss off the ref! He's the only one we've got."

So yeah, he's the best one they've got, too, then, isn't he?

Actually, they really do like him. I'd be surprised if you could find anyone on the planet who has a better or deeper understanding of the game, but better than that is the way he tries to even up the game when it's very one-sided. Both teams appreciate it, since it makes for a more interesting game. He's gotten his initial qualification, and the assessors said, "He's got a great future in refereeing."

So I've been planning which five star hotels we'll be staying in when he's reffing the test matches. It's only fair that I get to go with him; it's my reward for all these many years of standing around in the wind, the rain, and the heat watching a bunch of grown men fight over a ball.

And I know you'll appreciate this last note:

Leander is in the shower washing the dirt out of his nooks and crannies (footy all morning, rugby all afternoon; it's like heaven for boys around here), and he's "Making up my own Haka, Mommy, listen!"

Don't talk to me about it, Leander. Tell it to your father.