Today was maddeningly hectic, and I was up late last night since yesterday was equally maddeningly hectic, so I was tired. I rushed into the butcher shop to pick up a box of yarn (that makes sense in my head), and Duncan told me he still wasn't feeling well, and asked me to make him a doctor's appointment for today. He was specific about the time, which is so unrealistic there aren't words.
And why does his wife have to make an appointment for him? ARE HIS FINGERS BROKEN, TOO?
So I rushed off to Trevor's house to help him with his computer before rushing back to my shop. But I wasn't speeding. I called the doctor's office, and begged for an appointment TODAY, please, please, please. But they would only give me an appointment with a nurse, who could then decide whether he needed to see a doctor. What is the point, people?
Then I called Duncan and told him this, and had to argue - sorry, EXPLAIN - why this made sense, and while I was doing this, a police car passed me going the other direction. In my rearview, I saw it flash lights, so I hit the petrol and flew the next two kms to Trevor's (note how I wasn't speeding in the first place, but then I *had* to speed).
There were skid marks in the gravel where I turned into his driveway, and I'd totally have been clear if the damn driveway wasn't so out in the open. So the cops pulled in behind me, and gave me a ticket for talking on my phone.
I NEVER get warnings, I only ever get the fricking tickets. I had cleavage on full display; I think it's something to do with the pissedoffedness on my face.
It took the two of them twenty minutes to find the infringement code. I DON'T HAVE TWENTY MINUTES FOR YOUR INCOMPETENCE.
My shop has gotten broken into twice in the last year and I know who did it each time, but the cops won't do anything about that. They WILL, however, go out of their way to give me a ticket for trying to get my husband to the doctor (clearly this is all my husband's fault.)
BUT THAT'S NOT THE IRONY. It gets better.
Trevor's computer was way screwed up, so I had to get back to take Duncan to the doctor (yes, I had to take him. Otherwise, the doctor doesn't get all the info, and I don't get ANY of the info. We could have saved a week if he'd just listened to me seven days ago).
So after we go to the doctor, wait, etc, etc, get back, open both our shops, pick up children from school (child, I mean: Eddie's sick), etc, etc, I drop the kids with Duncan and dash back to Trevor's to work on his computer some more.
And two blocks from the butcher shop (how fast could I possibly have been going?), a car pulls out in front of me, completely blocking my path, and I have to swerve across the road and brake so hard I skid. My shoulder still hurts from the seatbelt. AND THE CAR DOESN'T EVEN STOP.
So I chased it. I have a lecture ready, about checking to make sure the person YOU'VE JUST ATTEMPTED TO RUN DOWN is okay, only it turns out to be a woman I know, which puts a leash on my venom. Still, I let her know that she did a Bad, Bad Thing, and you know what she says? Are you ready?
"Oh, was that you I almost hit? I was saying, 'Sorry, sorry.'"
BITCH, YOU WERE IN YOUR CAR. COULD I HEAR YOU???
So. Let's recap the highlights of my day:
1) I get a ticket and THREE POINTS ON MY LICENSE for using the phone.
2) A woman very nearly causes a head-on collision, causing me to skid across the road into oncoming traffic, because, as she admits, she DIDN'T LOOK, and she gets NOTHING.
And it is not lost on me that both of these things happened while I was driving to help Trevor. His computer better stay fixed, because I'm not driving there again.
Oh, and Duncan, what did the doctor say to you? That's right: LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE.Labels: daily
